


So Heavy In Your Arms

by Solvejg



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Dark, Feels, Fic inspired by song, I'm hating myself so much for writing this, M/M, WTF me, river - Freeform, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:16:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solvejg/pseuds/Solvejg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik wraps him into the worn-out pink blanket, collects him into his arms and together they step into the cold water of the river. Charles isn't afraid. Erik is coming with him. The children might be gone, but that doesn't matter anymore. He will never be alone again."</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Heavy In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, so this is my first fic EVER, and I am soo stressed, since I have never done this before and my mother tongue isn't English. Anyway. If there is anything that doesn't sound right, just telle me ! Thank you !
> 
> (The lyrics and the inspiration comes from the absolutely perfect song of Florence and the Machine : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_eOmvM-4zc)

 

“ _I was a heavy heart to carry_

_My beloved was weighed down_

_My arms around his neck_

_My fingers laced to crown_

_  
I was a heavy heart to carry_

_My feet dragged across the ground_

_And he took me to the river_

_Where he slowly let me drown”_

 

 Charles inhales deeply. Once. Twice. The frozen ground is cold under his palms; he can't feel it under his bare thighs. His eyes hurt, because he has to remember to blink. Sometimes, Erik has to tell him to do it. They are so dry. Erik's seem on the verge of overflowing. Charles smiles. His Erik. So beautiful, so injured, so warm when he holds him against his chest. As if Charles was some lost treasure he had to cherish one fatal time before losing it forever. Maybe he is. Maybe the water will carry him away until the Earth's womb engulfs him. He laughs a little at that thought. He can't wait.

 

Erik's lower lip quivers as he caresses Charles' shoulder with his hand. His whole frame shudders. Charles doesn't mind. The movement reminds him of life, of the life filling Erik. His own body is dead from the hips to the toes. He doesn't mind either. Everything will be over very soon. 

 

“Charles...”

 

Erik leans forward, kisses his cheek and lets out a broken sob as he roses, his arms dangling at his sides, his uncombed hair dancing around his skull because the drafts are strong today. Charles smiles at him. A tear rolls down Erik's cheek and he tries to suppress his whimpers, quite ineffectively. Erik thinks that he doesn't understand what's happening to him, but Charles understands completely. He understands everything. He is going to die, he might even be already dead, a little, in the inside, but he does not give a damn about all that. Erik is here for him. Erik will lead him to the endless river. He'll never be alone again. 

 

“Don't cry, Erik. I'm fine, really. I'm perfectly fine.”

 

True, he doesn't entirely remember how it happened. He know that Erik collected him into his arms from the hospital bed and that was not allowed but he took him to the riverside, letting his toes stroke the surface of the water. He thinks he remembers a beach, a blinding blue sky, and a threat. He remembers shouts, a gun pointed at Erik, _his Erik oh god please don't hurt him I'll do anything please don't hurt Erik_ , and pain. Unlimited, sickening, absolute pain. Erik's fury. The look on his face as he screamed, screamed his name, and the pieces of the plane's shell, flying in every directions, piercing bodies, children's bodies, a blue frame, blond hair, red hair, black hair - Raven's eyes, Moira's, and darkness. He really doesn't mind. He should, perhaps, but he is going to die, and he won't be alone. Never again. He just hopes that Erik is going to come with him. 

 

Erik walks into the water, step after step. When he is immersed to the waist, he turns around, and looks at him. His eyes are so light, so watery. They watch each other without moving a muscle. The time has stopped. After a brief silence which sounds like eternity, Erik leans forward from where he stood in the river and grabs the pink worn-out blanket he had left on the shore and spreads his arms to wrap Charles in it. Somehow, he finds it highly ironic but suppresses his giggles. Why bother keeping him warm as he wasn't feeling anything anymore ? Erik had taken care of that, injecting himself drugs directly into his blood. Charles suspects he has stolen them from the hospital but doesn't ask. This seems shallow. 

 

The other man lifts him from the ground, _one arm under his knees_ and the other around the small of his back, where the bullet has pierced his flesh and bones and hopes, and it should hurt, but it doesn't. 

 

“Everything will be alright.”

Charles smiles. “I know.”

“It won't hurt.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

Together they moves forward to the middle of the river, Erik tall and warm, Charles collected into his arms in the pink blanket, head resting in the crook of his neck. Mist is floating above the calm surface of the water, blurring the shape of the giant redwoods surrounded the riverside. Erik kisses his forehead, kisses his temple, pressing hard his lips. He murmurs something against his skin but Charles doesn't get it. 

 

He frowns. His telepathy has been quiet for so long. Maybe it is better that way. Maybe it would have hurt if he had been able to eavesdrop the doctor's mind as he whispered to Erik _“He won't make it. A few days at most.”_ If he had been able to eavesdrop Erik's mind, who has stood so strong in front of the nurses and the doctors. So strong. As if he had not just killed the ch—

 

Charles sighs and rubs his hair against Erik's cheek. The man straightens but kisses him one more time. _(_ _One last time ?)_ One more time.

 

“Don't worry dear.”

 

His expression is unreadable.

 

“You'll come with me, won't you ?”

“Of course, Charles. Of course.”

“Good.”

 

Charles closes his eyes. Erik lowers his arms, but he cannot the cold water until it starts licking at his back through the blanket. He warps his arms around the other man's neck to help him. In the water, he doesn't weight anything. In the water, he is not so heavy in Erik's arms anymore.

 

Erik let him float a few moment, his legs and arms spread like a livid Christ, Erik's hands on his hips to keep him from going with the flow. Charles laughs because they look like a mother bathing her babe and Erik seems to see it too because he laughs with him. He also might be crying. Charles isn't sure.

 

Finally, he opens his eyes and looks into Erik's. 

 

“I'll see you on the other side, my friend.”

 

Erik chokes a little as he wraps his hands around his neck. Charles smiles to him, but he doesn't.

 

“Let's find out.”

 

Erik grimaces. Charles closes his eyes. A loud CRACK in the undisturbed quietness of the river. And silence. 


End file.
